So the other day I was having a conversation with the girlfriend when we she mentioned the pope was visiting New York. I mentioned that I don't think anyone considers that news anymore at which point we went into a "serious" discussion which reached its climax with this gem, that came out of MY mouth (I have a bigger brain after all!!), "More people would be affected if Tom died than would if the Pope died!".

Of course this pretty much ended the possibility of any further serious discussions. But being the stubborn man that I am I decided to do some research. It turns out there are approximately 1.1 billion baptized catholics in the world according to the BBC compared to only 238 million MySpace users worldwide. It's obvious that Catholics might be more affected by the death of a dear friend....OR WILL THEY!!!

When counting catholic heads and comparing them to Tom devotees it would be unfair to count those people who ,for reasons known only to the gods, don't have internet access. So let us begin by making a few assumptions:

1) We will include in our count North America, Europe, and Asia only. As these have the most significant amount of internet users.

2) We will assume that Catholics account for 20% of the total internet population of the countries. As very generous estimate I think (Catholic estimates indicate 20% worldwide).

With these assumptions , according the the World internet Stats, we end up with 1.16 Billion Internet Users, 231 million of those users being catholics according to our very unscientific assumptions.

231m catholics Vs. 238m of Tom's Friends

Yes, I know, I just made a dick twitching discovery. But let us analyze this further. Say something were to occur to his majesty, the Pope. Then only 231 million people who use the interwebz would be remotely affected! But what say you about TOM!! If something tragic were to happen to Tom not only would his friends be affected but what about the friends of Tom's friends who aren't friends of his??!!! What about thems!!!! And let us not forget about Black TOM!! What would ever happen if both Tom AND BLACK TOM were on a plane going to the Macdonalds in front of the Parthenon on a Monday for dollar big macs when their plane suddenly went down due to some guy pumping 89 octane instead of that air fuel shit because he wanted to save a few bucks and buy a gang of big macs, on Monday, for a dollar, so that he could sell them on Tuesday for ONE FIFTY and make a KILLING!!! WHAT THEN!!!!

CHECK!!!

MATE!!!

Bitches!!

Oh Tom. Your silly smile! Your slouching, off center, over the shoulder pose. You affect so many. Why? The balance of power is in your hands. Will you courageously accept it? No, you coward! Instead you have your dopplgeganger half twin accept our fate. You disgust me! Blessed be the day when your father returns from the future and has sex with your mother only to be murdered by a virgin.

........."Yes I'm sure Bitch!"

Half Assed REFS:

World Internet Stats, http://www.internetworldstats.com/stats.htm
Catholic Popluation, http://www.cwnews.com/news/viewstory.cfm?recnum=42515
Myspace.com

Comments (2)

	1. Written by the yellow plague on Monday, 04 August 2008 21:26
	donkey penis Report

	2. Written by Missle Control Systems INC on Thursday, 28 August 2008 09:07
	Agreed 100% Report

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