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Wednesday, 22 June 2005 |
What follows is an email i sent to my buddies about the worst day of
the war for me. Better yet, the WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!. It
was titled "Hope".
>Tue June 6 2004 2037 Local Time, Camp Bucca, Iraq
> Help! My tent is hot as fuck!
> Its so hot, i cant sleep! My
> balls stick to my legs and when i get up to go pee
> they peel off and it hurts!
> Its hot bitch!
> And now i'm on midshift so i gotta sleep in the day but i can't
> cuz its hot
> and my balls stick to my legs and then i finally go to sleep about
> 3 hours before
> midnight and some ass nugget starts re-arranging his AO in the
> middle of the night as if he's the fucking dare devil and works
> better in the dark only he's not blind he's a fucking idiot.
> And then i go to chow and there's a bug in my macarroni salad so
> instantly i loose my appetite and begin to wheap.Then i spill my
> drink on my pants and it happens to be fruit punch. Now i got
> fruity trousers that are glowing pink! Crack and all! I get up
> to leave and as i open the door to the chow hall the wind blows my
> super light but durable cheaply made by children in indonesia
> plates and i get mustard on my crotch.
> I go take a shit and i get blue splash back on my cheeks even
> though what came out wasn't in the least sense considered to be
> solid. The small clumps of shit mixed in with vegetable soup
> somehow mangle the space time-continuem and creat a massive force
> which sends blue water and corn pellets on a reverse trajectory
> all over my sweaty ass. However trajic and disgusting this
> situation appears the energy released by my diarrhea shit is
> exactly what einsteins e=mc^2 predicts it should be. m being the
> mass of my shit and c the speed of light. Alas, the universe is
> still in order! All is not lost! Hope my friends...there is still
> hope!
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Saturday, 31 July 2010
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